GROUP DECISION FOR BOOK COVER…MEN, WRITTEN BY A WOMAN

Men Written by A Woman If we can write and celebrate a phenomenon that lays out why “he’s just not that into you,” then we can also take pleasure in finding out why that just might be a blessing. Type the word ‘normal’ into a thesaurus and what should pop up is blank space.  Since there is no such thing… how do you find a similar word?  It’s kind of like zero to the third power.  It’s still zero. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I wrote this book for the quote-unquote “normal” woman to read and take identification with, considering all the men on this planet that are so easily defined, yet so ridiculously dramaticized (to their own doing).  And to offer insight and a much needed dose of simplicity to those that think it might not be worth the time anymore.  And for shits and giggles to those that have a healthy sense of humor. So, for purposes of this long conversation, how is a woman seeking a “normal” relationship able to get along in this wide, mad world?  (Feel free to insert stable, healthy, or any word of your choosing into the above for sanity purposes.) For women that don’t enjoy being abused emotionally, physically, verbally or otherwise (with the exception of some knee rug burns or the like during a heated monkey sex session), and those who do not crave over the top zealousness be it sports, religion, sex, electronic or whatever related, as well as the woman that actually chooses heterosexuality because they prefer a man versus a dude trying to get way too in touch with his feminine side, or the woman who is confronted with the guy that is denying that his feminine side is the one that ought to be on the forefront, or that particular homeboy that just needs a mama, or… And many moreeeeeee…! There are all sorts of textbook, over-the-counter superficial remedies that women have to swallow about a man, no gag-pun intended.  But it’s insanely intriguing to see the commonality between the different types of men, and how simplified the categories become when we begin to break it down into the simplest terms possible. So the liberating part of this whole man puzzle is that there is freedom in the understanding of where and how they fit and why they don’t.  It doesn’t matter if you haven’t had personal experience with each of what you’ll read about below; it just means that you might be better equipped when you run into (and you will) one of the types that isn’t on your particular resume. While the title of the book is chromosomal in nature, it always takes two to tango.  So, the men in our lives… women… no matter how screwed up or wrong are still a reflection of our choices. And, you’ll have a hell of a time along the way reading what could be, might’ve been, or will take place.  The shit that has transpired, for you, will resonate and reaffirm, and that which hasn’t yet come your way will probably amuse and maybe slightly scare you. In case you’re wondering, I am not a lesbian, nor have I had any women only experiences (although I can’t figure out why), I don’t hate men, I am not a psych in the relationship arena (although that general category will be duly covered), and I resent bitter, negative lines of thinking.  I do, however, think like a man for the better part of my time.  And because of that, I can write so intimately about them.   And if you’re into the guy, you know THAT guy, who likes to put you down in front of his friends, or show you who’s boss behind closed doors, or who thinks that your job lies in serving him, or who would rather sit in front of a television show than fuck your brains out when given the choice, or the one who is perpetually cursed with no opinion on anything big or small, or the one who can’t wait to light up a joint or snort a line during or after a grand sex-session from which it took you three hours to get equipped for, or who would rather theorize why you’re wrong about something as simple as pairing chicken breast with wild rice instead of mashed potatoes for hours, or the precious one who needs you to baby talk him in order to make sure he sleeps as many hours as ‘they’ require, or the stellar one who cannot handle you wearing anything flattering outside of your home lorded over by his presence, let alone inside your home in front of barely cracked windows despite the fact that it was the same outfit he met you in (in public), or the sexy beast who cannot fathom coming inside you and then traveling down south despite the countless sessions where he urges you to taste your own sweet nectar on his cock, or hey!, how about dear Romeo who is so enamored with you from the jump because of your eloquent vocabulary and the way you carried yourself (remember how he used the word gait so flawlessly in the initial woo-phase), but now, he can’t understand why it’s a big deal for him to fart to the tune of his favorite song through the meal you prepared and get all butt-hurt when you don’t find the stench amusing whilst intermingling with your risotto.   Yeah, if THAT guy does it for you in a way that makes your heart go pitter-pitter-pat, perhaps this book isn’t right for you.  Donate it to someone you know that wants a little bit more out of life from their pursuits of <wo>mankind if you already have it in your possession. Without further adieu, it is now time for me to reiterate the fact that I dig men.  I would snort male pheromones if I could figure out how, particularly the ones that make and keep me wet all day long without even as much as a touch.  I dig the lines across a man’s back and the salt and pepper experiences that comprise their chest and head and everything between.  I like their strength, even when they don’t know how to properly use it, because it reveals a sort of vulnerability that makes the whole package that much more intriguing.  I’m a sucker for their weakness, because I think it contributes to their whole.  I love the concept of a male and female and how they fit, or can fit
when they choose to.  And I’m not talking Ken and Barbie union; I mean man and woman and all the things that the two can make come alive simply from both combining both sides of the equation.  I like the way a man walks when he’s complete in and of himself.  I love the way a man feels beneath me, be it nose to nose, skin to fingertips, or wet to wetter.   A true man is something to breathtakingly behold… and it takes a woman to recognize that.  I fall in love with a couple when I see the man leaning in and not caring how many cheesy ways he comes off in front of others.  When you can see that he’s truly seeing her, and that she’s his motivation for whatever may come. I think love is underrated, despite the popular and saturated opposite opinion of the day.  Even when I’ve experienced my lowest of lows from a relationship standpoint, I can’t subscribe to the cynical line of thinking that is so easy to join.  I choose not to be a woman scorned, despite a myriad of reasons why I could be. I guess the bottom line is that I appreciate everything that a man can be, despite the fact that they have really done a historical number on their gender.  The negative side to this is simple… what man wants to hear about his potential?  In his mind, being a man isn’t a journey he wants to embark upon.  You better believe he considers it his headliner. I’m truly into the countless ways that make them tick, because god knows they make women redefine the way we spend our time and energy.  Men may think about sex a gazillion times a minute, but women ponder what to do with and about men just as much.   In a slightly cracked nutshell, those are the reasons why I’m writing this.  So, for ease and kicks, I have divided the book into the following categories… mostly because people like chapters of organized thought versus rants or irregular blogs:  BrutePussyFriend (and you say he’s just a friend, and you say..)Afraid of ConfrontationAfraid of Confrontation with youWeakMama BoyPotentially GaySports FreakViagraAggressorLoserCouch-Potato Sex-FreakNarcissistBoringNever Been MarriedInsecurePretty BoyFrigidPhilosopherChick GuyMoney ManParty AnimalHot Dumb GuyShortyLiarNice GuyManipulator/CounselorOnly ChildArtistBlue CollarAsexualAss-ManThe “Boy”MetrosexualMarriedCling-OnOne-Night-Stand Man (ONSM)Wrong One For You (WOFY)Real ManNice GuyAbuserGym RatTampon If you have a particular need to jump to the topic that speaks to you the loudest, I say go with your gut.  But that being said, if you are a virgin to some of the categories, I highly encourage you to read through all of them from start to finish.  There is always methodology to this sort of madness.